“Your beliefs become your thoughts,
Your thoughts become your words,
Your words become your actions,
Your actions become your habits,
Your habits become your values,
Your values become your destiny.”
When there are big changes in our lives, we often feel the need to change our habits too as well as the way we do things. In my experience, through coaching hundreds of women around the world and also from my personal journey, I have found that some of the reasons women like you and I would want to change our habits include the loss of a loved one in our lives either through death, separation, leaving home, break-up or divorce . Here’s the thing, we may have done something a certain way because of the love we felt for that special someone and because that is what they liked. However, If that person is no longer in our life, we may feel the need to change that particular habit especially if we didn’t like the routine or habit in the first place.
Other reasons include trying to incorporate a healthier way of living or that just trying to shake things up in our lives. Whatever the reason, my thoughts are that it is a positive one and the decision to go on a self improvement or personal development journey should never be viewed as a bad thing.
Talking about forming new habits, we all have times in our lives where we intentionally want to change our behaviour for the better and create new habits for ourselves. This could be getting in the habit of eating healthier and drinking more water, that is a constant one of mine...ditching the ice cold glasses of Coca cola for Spring water and sliced lemon. Or it could be moving more and taking the dog for a daily walk. Or it could be work related, or spiritual like searching the scriptures in the Bible and meditating on the word of God or going on a spiritual retreat, or ensuring you go on regular health spa relaxation and rejuvenation breaks or anything else you would like to improve upon. There are so many areas in our lives that could be improved upon and made easier if we created new habits.
Getting into the habit of doing something is often easier said than done. We seem to acquire bad habits without any effort, but getting into a “good” habit can be a little more challenging.
The bad habits could be seen as a safe place or comfort zone, where in reality they could be holding us back. I completely understand that it may be scary to change, perhaps you are at your wits end on where to start. Or perhaps you are so scared that you could fail. Trust me and take a leap of faith. You can start today! Stepping away from your old bad habits especially after the breakdown of your marriage or relationship can only improve your life!
Let’s break it down into a three step process that makes it easy to follow until we’ve internalised the new behaviour and made it a true habit – something we do automatically without having to think about, like brushing our teeth.
Decide What You Want To Do
The first step is to decide what you want that new habit to be. Be as specific as possible. Don’t just tell yourself you want to exercise more. Instead, say something like “I will go for a 30-minute walk every single day”. Deciding what your new habit will be and committing to when and how you’re going to do it, is half the battle.
Remind Yourself To Get It Done
The next few days should be smooth sailing. You’re motivated and excited to get this done. Sticking to your new habit isn’t an issue. But a few days in you’ll notice that it’s easy to slip back into old habits.
Perhaps, it’s raining and you don’t really want to go out and walk. Or maybe your day just gets away from you. This is when it’s important to have a daily reminder. Set an alert on your phone or add the new habit to your daily to-do list for a while.
Make It Part Of Your Routine Until It Becomes A Habit
Which brings us to the last step. It takes some time before a new behaviour becomes a true habit. Until then, a routine will work to your best advantage. Even before the new behaviour becomes automatic, a routine will help you get it done without having to spend a lot of willpower or relying on daily reminders.
Make that daily walk part of your after-dinner routine, or change from grabbing a snack at the vending machine at work at 10:00 in the morning to packing a healthy snack.
Congratulations! Now you have a 3 Step Process that will guarantee success if you are really dedicated to your desired change and follow through. It all begins with a decision and as the saying goes it takes at least 21 days for that consistent, persistent action to transition into a healthy good continuous habit. Decide to create the new habit, practice the routine until it’s second nature and you’ll be well on your way to forming a new good habit.
I would like to end with one of my favourite quotes:
“Motivation is what gets you started, Habit is what keeps you going”
Whatever you do, take the process in your stride, it is all part of your Believe and Live Again recovery, bounce back and transition journey from being a “we” to becoming a “me”.
If you would like to have an informal chat about it, don't hesitate to get in touch on: +44 208 938 3672 and myself or a member of my team will gladly schedule a Complimentary Believe and Live Again Discovery session or a 30 minute "Forgive and Let Go" consultation and together, we could be embarking upon the Believe and Live Again 5 R's journey to heal your heart, outgrow your challenges and let go of the past so that your glorious future can finally emerge.
Once again, I invite you to contact me or schedule a time to talk, call: +44 (0) 208 938 3672 (24 hours) or click on the pink "Contact" at the bottom right-hand side of this page and this will take you into my "Let's Talk" contact form. Kindly complete the form and you will get a callback.
In the meantime, Keep Smiling, Keep Strong and Keep Believing (that you can).
Best Wishes and God's Blessings
Inspirational Woman of the Year Award 2017
Best Selling Author – Reinvent YOU! How to Move from “We to Me” After Divorce
Multi Award Winning Serial Entrepreneur
Divorce Reinvention, Abuse and Breakup Recovery Coach
World’s Number 1 Mum
Zina Arinze, the proud mother of two wonderful gifts - her daughters, is a bubbly woman of faith fondly known as the Divorce Reinvention Queen, International Speaker, Best Selling Author, Radio Broadcaster, Talk Show host, Multi-award winning Business Start-up expert, serial Entrepreneur and founder of Believe and Live Again: a Post-Divorce Lifestyle Coaching, Abuse Recovery and Reinvention Mentoring service helping female professionals, business women, entrepreneurs and women of faith around the globe, swiftly recover from the grief, trauma and stigma of divorce, separation, domestic abuse or relationship breakdown by giving them clarity for their radiant future so that they are able to smoothly transition their mindsets from “we” to “me”, reconnect to their positive of self, regain their feminine power and walk in the healing restorative power of God. A lawyer by training and armed with an MBA and membership of several professional and entrepreneurial boards, Zina has over 15 years in IT Project Management Consultancy, Training and Capacity Building experience from the Public, Private and Not for Profit sectors. Zina is also very passionate about Gender Empowerment, building lasting relationships and encouraging the discovery, development, and deployment of hidden talents.