Maybe you can’t wait to jump back into the dating pool! Your experience hasn't dampened your belief in ture love. In fact, you may even have your eyes set on re-marrying someday. You want to meet "The One" The trouble is, things might not be the same as they were when you last had a date…
But don’t worry! We’ve put together this guide to get you back into dating…the easy way.
Step 1 – Work on your self-esteem
Right now your self-esteem is probably at an all-time low.
You have all of these questions about why things happened the way that they did running around your head, beating each other up, but this is where you need to stop.
I’m telling you right now that no good will come from you feeling miserable about yourself! You need to take a good long look in the mirror and tell yourself how much you love you.
There’s no point trying to get someone else to love you, if you can’t love yourself!
Step 2 – Are you ready for this?
After your divorce you may have found that your friends and family are really pushing you to move on and find someone new. Saying things like, “You need to get yourself a new man.”, “You need to get back out there and find your happy ending.”
This is all well and good, these people mean well and only want to see you happy, but they don’t understand the pressure that they’re putting on you to do something that you might not be ready for.
Only you can decide if you’re ready to move on from your divorce or your ex-partner. Only you can take that first step and if you’re not ready right now, that’s ok. Take the time that you need to be comfortable with yourself before you start looking for someone else.
Step 3 – Finding Mr. Right
Depending on how long you’ve been married, dating and meeting new people may have changed…A LOT!
For one thing, there’s internet dating, which didn’t exist at all until a few years ago. There’s this whole new virtual way to meet someone, without really meeting them.
There are both positive and negative sides to online dating. I’ve heard so many good stories and so many bad ones that here are my tips for you:
- Don’t sign up to every service out there. - Choose one or two that suit your personality and will attract the type of man that you want to date.
- Images speak a thousand words! – Choose a nice, clear image for your profile. You want to make a good first impression, you could even splash out on a makeover, hairstyle and a photoshoot.
- Your profile is you! – Your dating profile is a chance to explain who you are, show a little personality and sparkle.
- Don’t expect a line of suitors at your door. – Because there are so many people using online dating portals these days, some women expect that their inbox will be overflowing the next morning. That’s not necessarily true, but don’t be disheartened, give it time!
- Be cautious! – Not everyone is who they say they are online and some won’t be looking for the type of relationship that you are. Be safe! Never give out your home address or other personal details and never meet up at your house. Always arrange a meeting in a very public setting.
If you’re more traditional and you don’t want give online dating a try, the most important thing to remember is your self-confidence. You need to get out there, do new things and put yourself in the position to meet new people with similar interests.
Step 4 – The First Date
I don’t know a single woman who isn’t nervous when it comes to a first date. You’ve flirted, you’ve suggested and you’ve won. He’s finally asked you out, or you’ve asked him out and he said yes! It is the 21st century after all.
But now comes the hard part. What to wear, where to go, what to say and the ultimate mind-nagging thought, will he like me enough to call me back?
Who cares? This is a HUGE step for you and that’s what you need to concentrate on. It’s time to have a little fun and relax.
Here are some tips for a stress-free first date:
- Dress comfortably – no one gives a good impression when they’re in pain!
- Have a list of questions – keep it light and quirky to get to know him and keep the conversation flowing without putting on too much pressure.
- Don’t rush – the first date you have probably won’t be with Mr. Right, more like Mr. Right Now. Don’t expect your first relationship to last forever, it can take weeks, months or years until the right person comes along (and there’s nothing wrong with that).
Now, if you’re ready, you have all the tools you need to get out there and start meeting new people.
Remember to have fun, keep things calm and don’t listen to anyone but yourself. You’ll know when you’re ready to take the next step.
Are you ready to take those steps to enable you move on?
If you would like to have an informal chat about it, don't hesitate to get in touch on +44 208 938 3672 and myself or a member of my team will gladly schedule a Complimentary Believe and Live Again Coaching Discovery session or a no-obligation 30 minute "Forgive and Let Go" consultation and together, we could be embarking upon the Believe and Live Again 5 R's journey to heal your heart, outgrow your challenges and let go of the past so that your glorious future can finally emerge.
Once again, I invite you to contact me or schdeule a time to talk, call +44 (0) 208 938 3672 (24 hours) or click on the pink "Contact" at the bottom right hand side of this page and this will take you into my "Let's Talk" contact form. Kindly complete the form and you will get a call back.
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