After discussing a very difficult topic last week I decided to focus on all things positive in today’s article as we approach Mother’s Day!
Did you know that 90% of divorced mothers have custody of their children (even if they did not receive it in court)? Wow! That’s a lot of single mothers in the world, battling everyday with falling apart inside but being strong for your children, struggling to juggle work and childcare, transitioning from a stay-at-home mum/home-maker to a full-time working mum with a lot more responsibility. I should know, I’m one of them!
Mother’s Day is a day dedicated entirely to you amazing single mothers who play the role of both mother and father to ensure that your children have the best possible life ahead of them.
Being a single mother on Mother’s Day can raise a few issues that can leave you feeling un-loved and miserable which is why I’ve written this article to help you make the most of this fabulous day, celebrating YOU!
Mother’s Day isn’t typically advertised as a holiday for single mother’s and it’s easy to feel left out, especially if your children are too young to get you a card or gift and if you have no other family or friends who will take it upon themselves to buy you a gift on behalf of your children.
It can also be difficult when Mother’s Day falls on a Sunday, as it does each year in the UK, especially if you share custody of your children with their father.
If you have a good, or at least an amicable, relationship with your ex-partner they may easily agree to switch weekends or days so that you can spend Mother’s Day with your child but, in many cases, where tensions run high, this just isn’t possible.
Take advantage of my top tips to help you celebrate yourself this Mother’s Day:
- Change the Day – If you’re not able to have your children on Mother’s Day this year, change the day that you celebrate to a day that you spend together. Involve your children by explaining to them that you’ve changed the day so you can spend your own Mother’s Day together (remember that they’ll probably want to spend this special day with you too) and plan something special to do like a meal out, a fun activity day or a shopping spree.
- Choose Your Gift - if your child is too young to buy you a card or a gift, buy your own. Involve them in wrapping the gift (or ask them to wrap it alone if they can). This is a great way to treat yourself by making sure you get a gift you want this Mother’s Day. When choosing your gift, think of something special, maybe a beauty treatment or spa day (for a day when you don’t have your children).
Mother’s Day is the perfect day to teach your children about kindness and thoughtfulness towards others. You can use the day as an example that all gifts don’t need to cost money and that gifts that are thoughtful are the most meaningful.
This is a great idea if money is a bit tight. Explain to your children that on Mother’s Day you don’t want to do the chores or you’d like to sleep in bed late, ask them to instead help by taking care of the chores or by letting you sleep for a while in the morning.
You could also suggest creative crafts that your children will enjoy and that they can present to you as gifts after making them. This could be anything from making their own cards, drawing a picture, writing a poem or making a movie.
Even though this may seem like it takes a little more work, you’ll be teaching your children a valuable lesson about showing their appreciation for the people that they love, which will come into effect not just next Mother’s Day but also every day.
Remember that most children (and their parents) eventually adjust to divorce and regard it as having been a constructive action depending upon the parents' ability to focus on the needs of children during and after their divorce. All that you have to do is be there for your children when they need you. Remember that the hard times will pass and that to be the best parent you can be you also need to spend a little time taking care of yourself, not just on Mother’s Day but every day.
Whatever you do, take the process in your stride, it is all part of your Believe and Live Again recovery, bounce back and transition journey from being a “we” to becoming a “me”.
If you would like to have an informal chat about it, don't hesitate to get in touch on: +44 208 938 3672 and myself or a member of my team will gladly schedule a Complimentary Believe and Live Again Coaching Discovery session or a no-obligation 30 minute "Forgive and Let Go" consultation and together, we could be embarking upon the Believe and Live Again 5 R's journey to heal your heart, outgrow your challenges and let go of the past so that your glorious future can finally emerge.
Once again, I invite you to contact me or schedule a time to talk, call: +44 (0) 208 938 3672 (24 hours) or click on the pink "Contact" at the bottom right hand side of this page and this will take you into my "Let's Talk" contact form. Kindly complete the form and you will get a call back.
In the meantime, until next time, Keep Smiling, Keep Strong and Keep Believing.
Best Wishes and God's Blessings