Coca Cola and Ice

Coca Cola and Ice

I had a really restful day today. No cooking, no shopping, no endless chats on the phone, no FB and no twitter, just the occasional loud scream to my daughters... “Take those words back right now or can you leave your sister alone” Other than that it has been just Peace, Perfect Peace in my bedroom sipping cool Coca Cola (full fat) on the rocks (I know I shouldn’t – it’s fattening and if you drop a coin in it etc etc etc ). I am staring at my hordes of shoes and bottles of perfume – wondering how on earth did I accumulate so much and how many pairs of feet do I actually need in order to wear all those shoes in my life time.

Anyway, I have been reflecting on how best to serve all you wonderful women out there, who really want to make a difference in our world and not allow their past relationship experiences to define them. A lot of ideas have come to mind.

I could say that I have spent today having a 1 to 1 internal brainstorming session with me, myself and I. The good thing is I love writing. I have made copious notes and my sound recorder recently discovered on my laptop has become my best friend as I soliloquise into it....so watch this space.

In the mean time, can I just say that if you really want to move on into a new and flourishing beginning, and make the differences you are so passionate about, you really have no choice but to leave some things behind. One thing I know for sure, (ok I know loads of stuff ) is if we are not careful, we can become so entangled and so encumbered with everything that has happened to us over the course of our marriage/relationship, or even just over the course of that last year before our divorce, that we fail to move forward.

Surprisingly enough, research has shown that this happens to divorcees all the time, whatever your faith is. The choice is yours, as you read this; I encourage you to make up your mind to be resolute, decisive and intentional. Yes, you are not going to drag your mistakes, your hurts, your wounds, or your blame games into your new and better life. Because, trust me when I say that if you refuse to let go, then all you are going to have is another version of your previous life ( as we say in England...warts and all) before your divorce.

Choose to Believe and Live Again, don’t dwell in the past, thinking of what could have been but is not, reliving every hurtful word, every wrong turn, and every bad decision simply because you have refused to leave the past behind and move on to the wonderful destiny that your God, your creator, your belief system has ordained for you.

One last word before I sign out, if you are hoping to find love again (of course after you have learnt to love yourself again) you must give yourself the opportunity afforded by this period of transition “time out” or “in the meantime” to heal your brokenness, because as a good friend of mine, Jacqueline Black once said “Broken people make rotten spouses” Now I know that being in a sequel to your previous relationship is not your life goal because you are a Begin and Live Again Irrepressible Diva and I am so proud of you, Muwuah xxx.

5 Comments

  • Shannon Lynn April 10, 2012 at 4:47 pm

    Oh my gosh, you sound just like me.. “Take those words back right now MR!” & “Do NOT bully your brother!” Glad to see I am not the only one that has to deal with that.. LOL

    • zina April 10, 2012 at 5:49 pm

      Hi Shannon Lynn,

      Hahahaha, Parenthood is something that definitely transforms and stretches us way beyond anything we thought we could be. Patience is not a virtue it is a downright miracle in my home 🙂

  • Keri Ann April 10, 2012 at 4:52 pm

    I think that is the problem with most people, they can’t actually love someone because they don’t love themselves. Great post! 🙂

  • Macey April 12, 2012 at 11:55 pm

    That is so true Keri Ann.. Most people can’t figure out why they have miserable relationships but if they would do some soul searching and take a look in the mirror, they would find out exactly why!! Keep up the posts Zina.. I am always checking back for more!!

    • zina April 13, 2012 at 12:14 pm

      Thank You Macey

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