Today’s Blog has been contributed by my very good friend and colleague across the Atlantic, Dr Jerald Young. He is an expert on Resistance to Change and Divorce Recovery. Sit back, Relax and be prepared to be encouraged and inspired to move forward into your Believe and Live Again Post Divorce Lifestyle with passion, purpose and promise for a better future.
If you’re divorced or going through a divorce, you may be wondering how you’ll ever survive:
“I never thought I’d have to do this. I’ve never been in this predicament before.”
“Everything is new and threatening. I feel lost and afraid that things will never get better.”
These reactions are normal. Recovery from divorce is difficult at best. After all, it’s not something you personally do every day and feel competent at. However, it’s important to realize that you already possess all the personal resources you need to successfully recover from divorce.
What are they? I’m talking about the confidence that you can do it, a sense of the right direction in the midst of emotional chaos, the courage to press on when things seem unclear or even hopeless, and reassurance that you’re on the right track during the process.
And yes, I’m saying that you already possess them. In this first of two posts, we’ll take a look at two of your hidden strengths — and I’ll show you exactly how to find them.
1. CONFIDENCE: finding it in past blessings in disguise.
When it comes to successfully surviving unwanted change, we’ve all “been there, done that”. Think about it: getting over that awkward first love affair in junior high school, making a comeback after getting fired, or dealing with the illness or death of a friend or loved one: everyone has gone through unwanted change at some point in life. Eventually, when we come out the other side, we can still look back and see some good that came from the experience. In other words, we see the “Blessing in Disguise.”
Acknowledging a blessing born by change gives us confidence to face future change, including recovery from divorce. You may have no experience with divorce, but all life changes follow the same transition process. Therefore, what we learn from previous change we apply to divorce recovery. Blessings in disguise are tangible proof that we can do it again — because we’ve done it before.
The key to finding your confidence is simply to identify your blessings in disguise. These blessings are tangible proof that you can survive change again… because you’ve been handling change successfully all your life.
2. DIRECTION: finding it from your set of personal principles.
Going through a major life change, like divorce recovery, is like driving down the interstate in a fog. We try our best to keep the car in the road. However, when we drift too far to the left or right, we hear and feel the thump, thump, thump of the shoulder telling us we’re drifting off course. Our personal principles are the washboards that give us the thump-thump-thump warning we need when we start to drift off our desired path through divorce recovery.
Some principles will be especially important to maintain, while some of those important principles will be threatened by the divorce recovery process. To successfully navigate your recovery, you need to identify your core personal principles so you can protect and use them when faced with tough decisions in the recovery process.
I hope you enjoyed today’s blog and found it useful for your Believe and Live Again Journey
Next week: We will continue with Part 2 of Dr Jerald Young's article – Divorce Recovery and Your Hidden Strength by covering Courage and Reassurance.
And just in case you were asking - Yes, you already have these, too. Talk to again next week, same time, same place.
Dr Jerald Young is a fountan of experience and experise on this very sensitive subject brings a fountain of experience and experitise on this very sensitive subect of Divorce Recovery. Having been divorced twice and happily married since 1993. He agrees with Margaret Mead when she said, “I’ve been married three times, all successful.” This is because he has two daughters and three step children. He currently resides with his wife, actor Melissa Hart, in Minneapolis, MN. USA
Jerald received his Ph.D from Yale University in Organizational Behavior and Interpersonal Trust and was a Professor for 21 years with the University of Florida teaching Change management, specialising in “How to Dissolve Resistance to Change to Making Major Life Transitions” He is a certified Divorce Recovery Coach and Founder of the Smooth Divorce Recovery Program™ His book on how to dissolve resistance to change, “Me? Change? Not Now. Not Ever!”, lies at the heart of the Smooth Divorce Recovery Program
Since 2003, Jerald has worked tirelessly and with passion helping divorced individuals make a fast and smooth recovery from divorce.
His forthcoming book, The 16 Fatal Mistakes that Will Sabotage Your Recovery from Divorce and How to Avoid Them, will be available in the fall of this year.