There’s a comfort that comes from having an excuse for your challenges in life. Whether you can blame your issues on bad divorce or breakup, a boss that hates you, or the universe in general, it’s soothing to have an excuse. However, that excuse has a cost. By putting the blame and responsibility outside yourself, you take away your power to change your situation.
Is everything you’re fault? Of course not. But it is your responsibility. If you don’t fix it, who will? Even if you had horrible parents, there’s nothing they can do about it now.
Choose to see everything in your life as your responsibility and start making some changes. You’ll eventually enjoy the power that comes with responsibility.
Accept responsibility for your current situation and take control of your life:
- Be aware of how you’ve contributed to your own challenges. Maybe you made poor decisions. Maybe you failed to take action. Look at the least satisfying parts of your life and determine how you created them. Be sure to also look at the great parts of your life and give yourself some credit, too.
- Build your self-esteem. The more self-esteem you possess, the easier it is to deal with life’s challenges. If you’ve been avoiding responsibility, your self-esteem has been suffering. Taking responsibility builds self-esteem. They go hand-in-hand.
- Remember all the wonderful things you’ve accomplished in the past. Imagine how great you’ll feel when you turn your life around.
- Remember that not everything is within your power to change. You can’t make your boss like you. But you can find another job. You can’t make your spouse stop drinking. But you can demand that they seek help and choose to leave if they don’t comply. In the end, you can only control yourself. Avoid worrying about the things that are outside your control.
- Take responsibility for the little things. The big things are more exciting, but the little things are important, too. In fact, not taking care of the little things often leads to the big things. Take responsibility for the everyday tasks that you face on a regular basis.
- Be the best version of yourself. Hold yourself to a higher standard than anyone else would ever demand of you. This is the ultimate way to take control because you’re accepting the highest level of responsibility. Being the best version of yourself means doing what needs to be done whether you feel like it or not.
- Avoid blaming yourself. Taking responsibility and taking the blame are two different things. Does it matter who’s to blame? You’re taking care of business, so it doesn’t matter if it’s your fault or not. You’re solving the problem, regardless of the cause. Blaming yourself makes you less effective.
- Expect to be uncomfortable. Taking responsibility is the opposite of avoiding responsibility. Why did you avoid responsibility? Because it’s more comfortable than being responsible. With responsibility comes discomfort.
- Take comfort in the fact that your discomfort will provide significant rewards. Do you think that ultra-successful people deal with more or less discomfort than the average person?
It’s natural to avoid responsibility whenever possible. Accepting responsibility results in more work, at least for the time being. It can mean less work down the road, though. Handing challenges today ensures that they don’t grow into even bigger challenges later.
Failing to take responsibility comes with a heavy cost. You feel as if you lack the ability to change the course of your life. You lose respect for yourself and increase the likelihood of suffering from depression.
It’s time to take responsibility for your life and regain the control that’s so important to your success!
Whatever you do, take the process in your stride, it is all part of your Believe and Live Again recovery, bounce back and transition journey from being a “we” to becoming a “me”.
If you would like to have an informal chat about it, don't hesitate to get in touch on: +44 208 938 3672 and myself or a member of my team will gladly schedule a Complimentary Believe and Live Again Discovery session or a 30 minute "Forgive and Let Go" consultation and together, we could be embarking upon the Believe and Live Again 5 R's journey to heal your heart, outgrow your challenges and let go of the past so that your glorious future can finally emerge.
Once again, I invite you to contact me or schedule a time to talk, call: +44 (0) 208 938 3672 (24 hours) or click on the pink "Contact" at the bottom right-hand side of this page and this will take you into my "Let's Talk" contact form. Kindly complete the form and you will get a callback.
In the meantime, Keep Smiling, Keep Strong and Keep Believing (that you can).
Best Wishes and God's Blessings
Inspirational Woman of the Year Award 2017
Best Selling Author – Reinvent YOU! How to Move from “We to Me” After Divorce
Multi Award Winning Serial Entrepreneur
Divorce Reinvention, Abuse and Breakup Recovery Coach
World’s Number 1 Mum
Zina Arinze, the proud mother of two wonderful gifts - her daughters, is a bubbly woman of faith fondly known as the Divorce Reinvention Queen, International Speaker, Best Selling Author, Radio Broadcaster, Talk Show host, Multi-award winning Business Start-up expert, serial Entrepreneur and founder of Believe and Live Again: a Post-Divorce Lifestyle Coaching, Abuse Recovery and Reinvention Mentoring service helping female professionals, business women, entrepreneurs and women of faith around the globe, swiftly recover from the grief, trauma and stigma of divorce, separation, domestic abuse or relationship breakdown by giving them clarity for their radiant future so that they are able to smoothly transition their mindsets from “we” to “me”, reconnect to their positive of self, regain their feminine power and walk in the healing restorative power of God. A lawyer by training and armed with an MBA and membership of several professional and entrepreneurial boards, Zina has over 15 years in IT Project Management Consultancy, Training and Capacity Building experience from the Public, Private and Not for Profit sectors. Zina is also very passionate about Gender Empowerment, building lasting relationships and encouraging the discovery, development, and deployment of hidden talents.