limiting beliefs

How To Overcome Limiting Beliefs After Divorce Or Relationship Breakdown

Here in London, it’s hot hot hot – finally. I hope you are enjoying the weather if it is Summer wherever you are around the world and you are doing all you can to keep yourself cool and hydrated.

If you have been following my posts this week you’ll know that our inspirational area for the week is "LIMITING BELIEFS".

I shared a poster on Monday night o Facebook with five questions focusing on limiting beliefs to help you really dig deep and tackle them fair and square out of your life. I also shared an Inspirational Monday Poster for those of us that work better with visual inspiration.

limiting beliefsI don't know who I am speaking to around the world that needs this but I have committed as a coach to serve you daily. I did share an Inspirational Tuesday poster yesterday on social media, but this time only in the groups I serve and in my fan pages. Apologies and I hope you can understand, I could not bring myself as a mark of respect to share on my personal FB profile in view of the horrendous event in Manchester which saw the sad loss of 22 lives and 59 seriously injured.

Can I use this opportunity to ask that we continue to pray and send out deepest condolences to the city of Manchester, in particularly the families who have had innocent loved ones so mindlessly snatched out of their lives.

Both my daughters have attended similar concerts in the past at Wembley stadium, The O2 Greenwich, Finsbury Park, Hyde Park etc where I or another parent have been responsible for dropping off and picking up, so I can only imagine how I inconsolable I would be right now as a parent. My prayer is may God’s balm of Gilead heal and comfort all the families and friends affected In Jesus Name🙏.

As I was saying our topic for this week is LIMITING BELIEFS.

limiting beliefsYou might think, what is Zina talking about? this does not happen to you but even to the most confident of us, every now and again a limiting belief or sometimes several, rears it’s ugly head and tries to keep you stagnant, so you either feel unworthy or undeserving of your achievements or you find it difficult to reach the heights or goals you set because of these limiting beliefs. They include "Imposter syndrome" which I will touch on another time.

Limiting beliefs affect each of us whatever our faith or not may be

As a practising woman of faith, I am very aware of how God sees me and I know He cannot lie, however, sometimes the enemy would creep into my thoughts using anything or anybody to lie to me so that if I am not careful I believe the lie rather than God’s truth. I am sharing this in the interest of transparency because I strongly believe it is important to be vulnerable especially when you do what I do. I am a coach and a minister and have been called to encourage support, inspire, transform, empower and heal lives.

Take for instance the word – INSPIRE. I was shell shocked to win the Women4Africa Inspirational Woman of the Year Award 2017, last Saturday. The enemy crept in and I thought me – Inspirational Woman of the Year... Women4Africa .... Africa is a massive continent! Now that is a LIMITING BELIEF right there.

Now, I already know who I am in Christ, The Apple of His eye, the head and not the tail, I can do all things ....yadda yadda yadda but when my name was called...and the winner is......I wanted to run out of the hall, no lie 😀

women4africa award

That is what a limiting belief can do to you, the enemy is a master of deception. He did the same to Jesus: Matthew 4:5-6 - “Then the devil took Him up into the holy city, set Him on the pinnacle of the temple, and said to Him, “If You are the Son of God, throw Yourself down.” Now, of course, Jesus knew who he was.

One of my favourite scriptures that I often quote and stand on is Luke 1:45 "And blessed is she that believed: for there shall be a performance of those things which were told her from the Lord". So it is quite interesting that I sometimes go through these periods of limiting beliefs but I guess I am human and not super woman...lol

The thing is, don't begin to judge yourself or feel bad, whether you believe in God or not, limiting beliefs has nothing to do with the way God sees us. Limiting beliefs has to do with how you see yourself. Whether you are a Christian or not, If you believe you are rubbish or undeserving or cannot succeed or 1001 other faulty limiting beliefs we can sometimes have, that is what you will be and experience.

Know this, limiting beliefs will sabotage your progress and if you let it, also will paralyse you so much that you are unable to move ahead in your life, all because you choose to believe that is who that negative belief says you are. Take for instance limiting beliefs like: “I can’t do that.” or “I’m no good at this.

If you are a Christian in particular, limiting beliefs can make you doubt God and stops you from stepping out in faith to fulfil your purpose. The 12 spies who Moses had told to check out the land of Canaan in Numbers 13:1-33 had limiting belief “as we see things, we’re like grasshoppers, and that’s their opinion of us!” Here, the 12 spies not only believed they were grasshoppers and could not fight the Giants but they also believed that was how the inhabitants viewed them too.

When you have limiting beliefs you often have a very negative opinion and belief of how others view you based on a very faulty non-evidence-based premise.

How to deal with limiting beliefs

Be very careful about what and how you think as your thoughts ultimately affect your beliefs about yourself. There are many ways to deal with limiting beliefs when they show up and I go into this in-depth during my workshops and various coaching programme, however for the benefit of You - yes You who is reading this right now, here is one way you can use and this is to become more mindful and self-aware so that you are able to identify these limiting beliefs that neither serve nor honour you.

The next step is to devise strategies to help you counter and eliminate these limiting negative beliefs. With my coaching hat on, my guidance would be for you to dig deep so that you feel empowered and able to doubt your doubts. Take for example, you could ask yourself the following questions: “What makes me feel I don’t deserve to be paid?” "Have I not delivered an excellent service?” “How do I know I can’t do it?” “I have done it before, haven’t I?” “Just because I failed my driving test before, doesn’t mean I going to fail the test again.”

Phew! this was only meant to br a couple of lines, but I guess I get carried away with writing.😂😂. I hope you have found this useful.

If you missed Monday and Tuesday’s post on my social media accounts, here are the five limiting belief questions again that I referred to earlier on. I shared these at the beginning of the week to set the tone.

These questions have been designed to help you along this week in being more self-aware and mindful about your thoughts and any limiting beliefs by digging deeper. I strongly encourage you to ponder on them and answer each question in your journal, yes writing them down. Here are the questions:

1. What is the biggest thing you believe about yourself that holds you back?
2. What has been the cost of believing this about yourself?
3. When, with whom and under what circumstances is this belief untrue?
4. Who would you be if you didn't believe this about yourself?
5. What would you choose to believe about yourself instead? And when will you start?

Ponder on these questions today and over the remaining days of this week and journal about them to help you really go deeper and rediscover yourself.

Here's a challenge: I double dare you to book a complimentary, yes! free 45 minutes LIMITING BELIEFS busting Coaching call. Available for this week only and guess what? It is open to everyone, male, female, married, divorced or single. Let's face it, we all at some time in our lives affected by Limiting Beliefs regardless of gender or marital status or faith.

 

Whatever you do, take the process in your stride, it is all part of your Believe and Live Again recovery, bounce back and transition journey from being a “we” to becoming a “me”.

If you would like to have an informal chat about it, don't hesitate to get in touch on: +44 208 938 3672 and myself or a member of my team will gladly schedule a Complimentary Believe and Live Again Discovery session or a 30 minute "Forgive and Let Go" consultation and together, we could be embarking upon the Believe and Live Again 5 R's journey to heal your heart, outgrow your challenges and let go of the past so that your glorious future can finally emerge.

Once again, I invite you to contact me or schedule a time to talk, call: +44 (0) 208 938 3672 (24 hours) or click on the pink "Contact" at the bottom right hand side of this page and this will take you into my "Let's Talk" contact form. Kindly complete the form and you will get a call back.

In the meantime, get digging and answer those questions. Keep Smiling, Keep Strong and Keep Believing (that you can). Time for me to practise what I preach.......

Best Wishes and God's Blessings smiley

Zina heart xxx

Inspirational Woman of the Year Award 2017
Best Selling Author – Reinvent YOU! How to Move from “We to Me” After Divorce
Multi Award Winning Serial Entrepreneur
Divorce Reinvention, Abuse and Breakup Recovery Coach
International Speaker
World’s Number 1 Mum

0O4A8361Zina Arinze, the proud mother of two wonderful gifts - her daughters, is a bubbly woman of faith fondly known as the Divorce Reinvention Queen, International Speaker, Best Selling Author, Radio Broadcaster, Talk Show host, Multi-award winning Business Start-up expert, serial Entrepreneur and founder of Believe and Live Again: a Post-Divorce Lifestyle Coaching, Abuse Recovery and Reinvention Mentoring service helping female professionals, business women, entrepreneurs and women of faith around the globe, swiftly recover from the grief, trauma and stigma of divorce, separation, domestic abuse or relationship breakdown by giving them clarity for their radiant future so that they are able to smoothly transition their mindsets from “we” to “me”, reconnect to their positive of self, regain their feminine power and walk in the healing restorative power of God. A lawyer by training and armed with an MBA and membership of several professional and entrepreneurial boards, Zina has over 15 years in IT Project Management Consultancy, Training and Capacity Building experience from the Public, Private and Not for Profit sectors. Zina is also very passionate about Gender Empowerment, building lasting relationships and encouraging the discovery, development and deployment of hidden talents. 

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