It happened. Maybe it came out of the blue, and was totally unexpected. Or perhaps you saw this coming for a long time and dreaded this day. In any case, your relationship is officially over. You may have filed the papers, or he might have. No matter what the situation, one thing is certain... divorce can be financially, mentally and emotionally devastating.
You have probably received a lot of advice from friends and family members. No doubt you have begun to look for information which will help you recover from this potentially devastating life event which so many women encounter. Would you like some helpful advice? Practice the following 3, little-known but surprisingly effective, divorce recovery tips and you may just find yourself healing quickly, and in a healthy way.
- Make a Relationship Blame List
Is there anything that you put on the back burner because of your relationship? What things did your relationship, spouse or partner prevent you from doing that you loved? Did you stop going to the movies, eating Italian food, spending quality time with your girlfriends, or engaging in some other activity because your relationship or spouse prevented it?
Take time right now to physically write a list of all those things that you were prevented from doing in your previous relationship that you would like to do now and in the future. Then begin doing them.
- Look Around You, One of Your Friends or Colleagues Is Divorcing As Well
Rose McDermott of Brown University revealed a startling 2013 research study on divorce. She found that if you happen to be going through a divorce, there is a 75% chance that someone else in your "inner circle" is also divorcing! Use this incredible information to your advantage.
This means that some woman you know is going through the exact same process you are. Remember that 2 strong women can achieve more than one woman alone, and "buddy up" to successfully recover from divorce.
- Join a Divorce Meet-Up Group
Do this. Type "divorce meet-up groups" followed by your city name into Google. In large cities there are multiple divorce meet-up groups for women only, women and men, and several other demographics. I run one in the Central London Area – Ladies Believing and Living with Joy After Divorce Drinks and Chocs Soiree Monthly Meet Up. You are very welcome to attend, come along if you are in the area. You’ll see the details on my website:
Hebrews 10:24-25 ESV
And let us consider how to stir up one another to love and good works, not neglecting to meet together, as is the habit of some, but encouraging one another, and all the more as you see the Day drawing near.
1 Thessalonians 5:11 ESV
Therefore encourage one another and build one another up, just as you are doing.
Proverbs 27:17 ESV
Iron sharpens iron, and one man sharpens another.
If there isn't a divorce support group meeting in your area, why not start one? There is power in numbers, and it is a truly great feeling when you realize you are not the only person going through this very difficult time.
“Tina Turner Survived and Thrived After Divorce - So Can You”
One of my living heroines is Tina Turner, first for her music that I got to know about in the 80’s during my late teens and danced my heart out to at parties when I was supposed to be in school, but then now as a grown up divorced, single mum. Tina is so inspirational, if there is ever a comeback, survival thrive story…from Victim, Victor to Heroine…this is the one.
“Sometimes you've got to let everything go - purge yourself. If you are unhappy with anything . . . whatever is bringing you down, get rid of it. Because you'll find that when you're free ... your true self comes out.” - Tina Turner
In the slightest possibility that you may not know who Tina Turner is, let me acquaint you with Anna Mae Bullock aka Tina Turner, a truly phenomenal woman.
Her recovery from emotional and physical abuse through divorce gave us one of the most memorable singers of the late 20th century. Tina Turner made it through an abusive marriage to the man that first put her on stage. In 1962 she married Ike Turner, who changed her name to Tina Turner, so he could control the woman he knew would become a star.
The relationship became abusive almost from the start. Tina Turner claims that Ike called her into his dressing room one day and asked her, "What are you trying to do to me?" She had been thinking about leaving, but that was absolutely not an option if Ike had anything to say about it. She says that was when the beatings first began, with him hitting her in the head with a wooden shoe stretcher.
Divorce and A New Beginning
Tina says he then forced her into bed to "make love" to him. She could not believe this was happening to her. Nothing remotely close to this had ever happened to the Nutbush, Tennessee-born daughter of sharecroppers. It wasn't until 1978 that the courageous and strong Tina Turner divorced Ike. However, the years of physical, mental and emotional abuse had taken their toll.
Financially Tina was not in the best of positions either. Ike dominated the finances, and it wasn't until Tina released the single "Let's Stay Together" in 1983 that she began to gain financial control of her life. After her 5th solo album "Private Dancer" was released in 1984 to worldwide success, Tina Turner became a household name thanks to her strong, smoky, raspy voice, and powerful emotional performances.
The “Queen of Rock and Roll” is Born From Divorce.
"What's Love Got to Do With It" my favourite Tina Turner song to date, I can still remember grooving to it under the disco lights at some hide out unbeknownst to my parents....and to think that this was the bestselling single from the Private Dancer album, and it led to her appearance in the 1985 Mel Gibson blockbuster movie "Mad Max Beyond Thunder Dome". Tina Turner has earned the title of “The Queen of Rock 'n Roll”, and is commonly referred to as the most successful female rock artist of all time, due in part to her 8 Grammy awards. She has sold more concert tickets than any other solo performer in history, male or female, and has come a long way since her divorce to the abusive Ike Turner.
Turning the corner some 29 years after her divorce, Tina Turner married the "love of her life" and longtime partner Erwin Bach in 2007.
Never Give Up, Know That Divorce Doesn't Define You and Create the Destiny You Deserve.
Tina Turner could have given in to her controlling and abusive husband. Instead, she did whatever it took to survive every day, knowing that she deserved a much better life. She created her own destiny through perseverance, and always believing there was a better future out there for her. She chased down the existence she dreamed of in her mind, made it come true, and so can you. Divorce is an event, not who you are. Who you are and who you will become is all up to you.
Are you ready to use these tips and recover and reclaim your life back just like Tina Turner did? Are you ready to Believe and Live Again just like me? Are you ready to shine and radiate your unique self within your sphere of influence? Are you ready to recover, reinvent and rediscover YOU?
If you would like to have an informal chat about it, don't hesitate to get in touch on +44 208 938 3672 and myself or a member of my team will gladly schedule a Complimentary Believe and Live Again Coaching Discovery session or a no-obligation 30 minute "Forgive and Let Go" consultation and together, we could be embarking upon the Believe and Live Again 5 R's journey to heal your heart, outgrow your challenges and let go of the past so that your glorious future can finally emerge.
Once again, I invite you to contact me or schdeule a time to talk, call +44 (0) 208 938 3672 (24 hours) or click on the pink "Contact" at the bottom right hand side of this page and this will take you into my "Let's Talk" contact form. Kindly complete the form and you will get a call back.
Welcome to your Believe and Live Again 5 R's Journey.
Release, Reflect, Renew, Reinvigorate and Reinvent ™
In the meantime Keep Smiling, Stay Strong and Keep Believing.