When you’ve suffered through a long and painful divorce, the idea of trusting someone again can seem like the last thing you want to do. It’s natural to expect the worst from everyone, especially if you’ve been treated badly in a relationship.
Don’t worry, with a little positive thinking and persistence you can learn to trust and be intimate again.
Try not to approach every new relationship as though history will repeat itself, your mood has a huge effect on any relationships. If you expect the worst and dwell on negativity things won’t work out for you.
The first step to trusting again is to trust in yourself. After a divorce many women wonder how they didn’t know their partner wasn’t right for them in the first place and it can affect how you feel about your own self-judgement.
Dating and new relationships should be fun and exciting, but if you immediately start to mistrust your date or new partner the relationship will be upsetting and in the long run, it just won’t work.
Learn to develop a positive outlook on people and new possibilities with my top tips for trusting again after divorce:
- Challenge yourself – If you’re feeling distrustful towards your date or new partner, take a step back and honestly ask yourself what is causing the distrust. Is it down to their actions or your own past experience? If you realise that the source of the mistrust lies within yourself, take a deep breath, relax and think positive. Not everyone relationship will be a bad one.
- Trust your intuition – Be confident and trust in your instincts. If something sets off alarm bells inside your head, listen to yourself.
- Don’t assume that everyone is the same – After a bad breakup, it can be easy to assume that everyone is the same, and that no one is honest or trustworthy, especially if they make a mistake. Don’t tarnish everyone with the same brush, sometimes a mistake is just a mistake.
- Listen – If your partner tries to tell you their side of the story, listen to them. Don’t shut yourself off, try to be understanding. If you’re not, the relationship will end.
- Don’t give up – Learning to trust again can take time. It’s not going to happen overnight and you may suffer through a few bad dates and lonely nights before things finally start to feel good again but don’t give up.
The key thing that you need to remember is to learn from your past mistakes and betrayals. Then go on to apply your lessons to your new relationships. After all, “It’s better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all.”
Take the process in your stride, it is all part of your Believe and Live Again recovery, bounce back and transition journey from being a “we” to becoming a “me”.
If you would like to have an informal chat about it, don't hesitate to get in touch on: +44 208 938 3672 and myself or a member of my team will gladly schedule a Complimentary Believe and Live Again Coaching Discovery session or a no-obligation 30 minute "Forgive and Let Go" consultation and together, we could be embarking upon the Believe and Live Again 5 R's journey to heal your heart, outgrow your challenges and let go of the past so that your glorious future can finally emerge.
Once again, I invite you to contact me or schedule a time to talk, call: +44 (0) 208 938 3672 (24 hours) or click on the pink "Contact" at the bottom right hand side of this page and this will take you into my "Let's Talk" contact form. Kindly complete the form and you will get a call back.
Good luck and God Bless