May Your Past Lose YOU and Let YOU Go

May Your Past Lose You and Let You Go

As successful and well accomplished female professionals, business women and female entrepreneurs in our chosen endeavours, we often come across as self assured, hard and uber confident. We are often seen as formidable opponents in and out of the board rooms, in business and as fierce negotiators. However, often times when the transition from married couple to single woman sets in we may find suddenly, that our self-esteem is completely gone. Battered self esteem and reduced self confidence affects every area of our lives and if not dealt with quite speedily, can be quite fatal. It therefore is quite crucial that as soon as we are able to, we learn how to rebuild our self-esteem. This is one of the keys to moving on successfully after the trauma of a long term relationship breakdown or divorce and reconnecting with our feminine power.

To Move on successfully, means that you have finally come to terms with not being married to your spouse anymore. It means the process of rediscovery and reinvention to a better YOU has begun. No matter how devastating your divorce or relationship breakdown was, you need to learn on how to focus and reflect on the positive and learn how to appreciate what you have got and learnt as a result of your experience. You will feel a lot better about your life when you learn how to think positively, making your life count everywhere that you go and allowing your past to lose you and let you go into that land of new beginnings flowing with milk and honey.

You should never beat yourself up. Easier said than done, I should know. For years I felt I was a failure by not being able to save my marriage but being somehow able to successfully negotiate cost savings of over half a million pounds for the company I worked for.
If you are like me, I am here to tell you.....the failed marriage - It's not your fault. It's not anyone's fault, you may have just had a bad marriage. One thing is for certain, though, it's near enough impossible to determine how a marriage will turn out until a good while after "I do". How many women go into a marriage with failure in mind? High achievers especially play to win and that includes marriage too.

The past has gone, so dwelling on it is doing you, your health or anything connected with you, which could be your children, any good. STOP! That thought right in its tracks, don’t think about what could have been, because quite frankly in today’s terms it didn’t happen. Try and replace any limiting beliefs, thoughts of regret and self doubt by reflecting upon and stating all that you like about yourself. Keep telling yourself that you’re okay and everything will be alright. It will feel strange at first but the more you do this, the more it becomes your reality.

A good and proven practise which works for me is to learn how to use positive empowering words to describe the essence of YOU. Often referred to as words of affirmation. Words like, unstoppable, influential, irrepressible, intelligent, beautiful, ambitious, and so on.
I won’t pretend it is easy because it is not. You have to make the conscious decision to encourage yourself daily. Discouragement will set in and your negative self talk will tell you that YOU HAVE NOTHING GOING FOR YOU and NO ONE WILL EVER LOVE YOU AGAIN.

Remember, the image you have of yourself as a result of your divorce will affect your life immensely, you have to readjust your mindset so that every time discouragement sets in, you are able to counter it by encouraging yourself in the Lord, just like David did, if you are a woman of faith or by whatever belief system works for you.

As you dare to Believe and Live Again - May Your Past Lose You and Let You Go.
Release that which no longer supports your life and you will experience New Beginnings on the horizon.
Welcome to your New Beginnings filled with boundless and amazing opportunities to live a transformed life, reignited with focus, passion and impact.
Your future is so bright and so orange, make it count.


  • Amanda April 10, 2012 at 4:49 pm

    You are so right on this. I lived in my past for over 20 years. It took me seeking professional help to move on. I hope many read this and can too move on and let go of the past. 🙂

  • David April 10, 2012 at 4:55 pm

    Great words of advice. Now, if only my past would let me go. I know you don’t hear of men being abused often, but my ex-wife has put me through hell. I got out and she is still stalking me and beating me. Any advice on that?

  • Sarah April 10, 2012 at 4:58 pm

    You are so right Zina. That is such a great comparison. I love all of your stuff and I know you are just starting out, but i have bookmarked you and will be coming back weekly to catch up.

    • zina March 27, 2013 at 11:25 pm

      Thanks Sarah for your kind comments, I look forward to connecting with you more, Z xx

  • Lynn April 13, 2012 at 12:03 am

    You have no idea how much this has helped me. If only I could get pass my past, my life would be so much better. And people tell you to just get over it, but if they haven’t been there, they don’t know!

    • zina April 13, 2012 at 12:06 pm

      Hi Lynn,

      I have been there and without sounding glibe, I feel your pain.
      Believe and Live Again is here for you, we are here to help you transition from your past to a glorious future.

      We have a range of programmes to help you. However at this stage, you might want to take advantage of our complimentary free 1 hour Telephone Coaching and Listening service.

      Feel free to put your details on our Contact page should you wish to take up free this service. What ever you decide, I just want to tell you that it does get better and you are more than worth your weight in diamonds.

      We are rooting for you.

      Z xxx

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