I was married for a little over 12 years when my ex filed for divorce. The marriage was fundamentally flawed from the get go but as a Born Again Christian, I spent almost my entire marriage doing everything in my power to save it. I prayed, I cried, I fasted, had marriage counselling sessions with Pastor, which looking back now is really quite hilarious considering my husband was no where to be found. Anyway try as I might to save my marriage – I was not successful. I was devastated and didn’t know where to turn.
When reality set in, I decided to devour and learn everything I could find about relationships and what it takes to heal after a divorce. It was then that I realised that a lot of what I was hearing from well-meaning friends, family, and even the church – with it’s best intentions, I might add, was mostly wrong.
A year after my divorce – I started an online “After the storm, what next? Divorce support group” made up of like minded people just like me from around the world – with the shared experience of being people of faith and being divorced. We grew, we became stronger, we reviewed recommended books, used tools, set new goals, had joint accountability and guess what? We healed and became each other’s keeper. Through this wonderful experience, I was able to gain a lot of valuable insight into what works and what does not work for people after divorce. Although I didn’t know it at the time, this was to become the Genesis of Believe and Live Again.
So back to the question – My BIG WHY? What is my mission? Through our Believe and Live Again Coaching and Mentoring programmes, our mission is to help and support as many women as possible across the globe rapidly recover from the grief of of divorce, regain their unique sense of self and feminine power, re-ignite their self esteem, transform their mindset and boost their confidence to support them through the divorce reinvention process thus ushering in a life full of passion, purpose and boundless opportunities.
Divorce is a traumatic experience, period. Mine was no different. I was the first woman in my entire family to ever get divorced and what made it worse is that as a Born Again Christian, none of my close Christian friends had been through divorce either. I felt as if I stuck out like a sore thumb and was a failure.
I was brought up and had always believed that marriage was forever, that no matter what, you stayed together and eventually the storms would pass.
Divorce was just not for people like me, I thought. My perceptions of divorce were quite frightful. It was that of parental alienation, domestic violence and serial infidelity, whispered gossip from work colleagues, church folk after service and school mums in the play grounds. I saw broken homes, traumatized children and at times the worst examples of human behaviour. No, divorce would never happen to someone like me: respectable, professional, nice, friendly, loveable, accommodating, ever happy, Christian woman. No! Divorce could never happen to me…..
Zina, Zina, Zina wake up, oh yeah!, that’s me…then I woke up and reality set in….and that my friends, is what they call History.
Back to the here and now, as you know my name is Zina, also fondly known as The Divorce Reinvention Queen. I first qualified in the early 90’s as a lawyer specialising in family law before branching out into Project Management Consultancy in the late 90’s.
I currently provide Post Divorce Lifestyle coaching and mentoring services to several female professionals from all walks of life. I am also a seasoned entrepreneur, a prolific writer, a successful IT Project Management consultant, corporate life skills trainer, a Passion2Niche illuminator, youth mentor, a well sought after motivational speaker and an exceptional single mother…phew!!
My drive, passion, mission and motivation is to inspire women to excellence in every area of their lives by making sure no one has to go through the divorce experience alone.
Having spent over 15 years within both the public and corporate arena providing IT Project Management Consultancy services, it was during this period that I experienced firsthand, the harrowing breakdown of my marriage, and suddenly found myself becoming an un-expectant single working mother of two young daughters. Reinvention, Resourcefulness and being Proactive became my second skin, which friends, colleagues and clients alike have said has been pivotal to my renowned reputation as a warm, larger than life, compelling motivator and successful difference maker.
My challenging life experience and journey as a divorced single and working mother has fully equipped me with extensive knowledge about divorce-related issues for professional women, female entrepreneurs and business women, who are expected to keep thier masks on, not show their emotional vunerabliity in order to keep afloat in the market place, in the board room and also at home. Whether it’s deciding to divorce and the legal ramifications, working out parenting arrangements or living as a single person again to regaini your positve sense of self, confidence and feminine power. This has helped me understand, empathize and provide coaching and real solutions to the questions, issues, challenges and concerns that people may have as a result of their own marriage/relationship issues and post divorce recovery, healing and ultimately.
People have said (although my teenage daughters vehemently disagree – teenagers huh!) that on first contact with me, you will find that I am authentic, extremely personable with bundles of high octane energy and enthusiasm. Personally, I would prefer to describe myself as cheerful, positive, and dynamic with a fun and easygoing approach and outlook to life. I am very passionate about relationships, goal achievement and helping people through transition to live the Life they have always dreamt of despite challenges that may come their way.
I love to inspire through speaking using my packed events, workshops and 1 to 1’s to go all out to re-ignite confidence and self esteem in my audience, teaching them to move on beyond the stigma of relationship breakdown or Divorce to become indomitable and irrepressible difference makers, achieve their dreams along the way and enable them live a maximised and fulfilled life.
I also love meeting people and would love to meet you too
I am an avid listener and want to take the time to listen to your story, understand your fears, your pain, your ups, your downs. Given the opportunity, I will support, encourage and guide you through your Believe and Live Again journey, helping you to shine your light in the darkness, re-discover your authentic self and come out the other side a stronger and better version of YOU.
No matter what you are going or have gone through, Divorce can be the positive catalyst for amazing change, new and fresh beginnings, opportunities to achieve what you have previously only dreamt of.
The words of CS Lewis have always been a source of encouragement for me and hope for you too.
“You are never too old to set another goal or to dream a new dream.” CS Lewis
Thank you for taking the time to learn a little about the Essence that is me and I look forward to knowing and working with the Essence that is YOU.
"Ladies, trust me, your glorious future awaits you...so just Believe"
What you can expect from me as your Post Divorce Lifestyle Reinvention Mentor and Coach?
You are divorced and effectively single again. Where do you go from here?
As your Post Divorce Lifestyle Mentor and Coach I will help you to develop your full potential and empower you to:
- Release, Reflect, Renew, Reinvigorate and Reinvent™ – making room for a better YOU
- Challenge You – this is especially helpful where you maybe avoiding doing what it takes to help you move on.
- Motivate and Inspire You to Believe and Live Again – as a role model who has survived and is successfully thriving after the trauma of divorce.
- Transition smoothly through the journey – especially emotionally.
- Just Listening. This is especially useful if you don’t have friends to talk to who have themselves been through it, or if you wish to keep your friends out of it.
- Set you on the road to developing a positive attitude
- Increase your confidence and self-esteem
- Identify negative emotions and limiting beliefs that are holding you back from your glorious new future
- Clarify your goals (what you want to be, do or have) for your new life
- Creating the BALA Collaborative Step by Step Road Map unique to the New You and Reinvented Life by encouraging your laser sharp focus on the steps you need to take to achieve your goals.
- Helping you find that exciting, satisfying lifestyle you only dreamed about
- Your Personal Cheer leader on tap to successfully cheer your transition from "We" to "Me"