Ready4Remarriage

Your BELIEVE AND LIVE AGAIN “Ready4Remarriage Test”

 

flowerA divorce can be extremely traumatic and make someone quite nervous about committing to marriage again; so it is very understandable that if

you are in the process of divorce or newly divorced, the last thing on your mind is likely to be remarriage. So why are we discussing it now. Statistics reveal that while 80% of divorced people remarry, almost 50% get another divorce. We don’t want you to make that mistake and go through this all over again. You may be at a point in your life where after

remarriage

 

 

your divorce or long term relationship break up, the dust has settled, your healing and recovery is complete and you are now ready to start over in love. You have set on your  new Believe and Live Again journey with gusto and passion, reinventing yourself,  reconnecting with your positive sense of self, regaining your feminine power and creating a new path with your career, self image, health, finances  and have even embarked upon some eye opening travel as a bonus.

 

With your confidence sky high and your self esteem on the mountain top you have re-entered the dating game, yes you have to date to mate – so you have found that special someone and are now considering remarriage.  Like all relationships, you may have disagreements, so do not rush things, learn to get to know each other, because as we settle into a new relationship, it is very easy for some of our old relationship habits to come back.

Remarriage.com talks about the Stop, Study, Shake three step process. These are three steps you can take to make sure you do not fall back into the bad habits that have affected your previous relationships.

It hoped that you have used the divorce or relationship breakdown as an opportunity to Grow, so that you have learnt the lessons and in spite of how horrid your ex may have been you are able to reflectively recognise your contribution to the past relationship failures and have made a good choice in your new progressing relationship. As you get comfortable in this new relationship, if  old bad habits emerge.

Stop – It is healthy to take stock as you become more involved with someone and try to understand how you are feeling and how the relationship is progressing. You can see this as a physical check-up for your relationship.

Study – your relationship, it always helps to write things down. Start with the past and write down the strengths and weaknesses of past relationships. Recognise your habits and your contribution to past relationship failure. Now look at your new relationship and write down the strengths and weaknesses of that relationship. Try to be as objective as possible. We often deny the weaknesses because we want the current relationship to work. The truth is that if we admit to the weaknesses, then we can set about dealing with them and ultimately give the relationship a better chance to work.

Shake – now it is time to take action. What are you going to do about the weaknesses you see in this developing relationship? Start with what weaknesses you might be bringing to the relationship. Changing yourself is far easier than changing someone else. Decide what behavior you have that you are going to change and check regularly to see that you are addressing it properly.

Repeat the Stop, Study, Shake steps at intervals in your relationship as required.

One Word Of Caution

Do Not Rush, take time to get into another Relationship and even more time to REMARRY – Take it Slow…you definitely don’t want to be part of the statistics that suggests the rate of divorce after remarriage is high.

 

“We're just ordinary people

We don't know which way to go

Cuz we're ordinary people

Maybe we should take it slow (Heyyy)

We're just ordinary people

We don't know which way to go

Cuz we're ordinary people

Maybe we should take it slow (Take it slow oh oh ohh)

This time we'll take it slow (Take it slow oh oh ohh)

This time we'll take it slow” – John Legend

 

So why do so many remarriages end in divorce again? Here is what research and statistical surveys have shown regarding of re-divorced people:

 

Many subsequent marriages fail because a previous divorce creates circumstances that lead us to remarry before we are ready. As a result, we marry the wrong person for the wrong reasons.

 

Divorced people often choose a new spouse from weakness rather than strength

  • You are still coping with all the problems of your divorce
  • You marry out of neediness
  • You repeat mistakes because you didn’t learn from the previous marriage
  • You marry too quickly – not allowing two years to heal or  dating your prospective spouse for less than two years
  • You ignore red flags you find in the new relationship
  • You choose a person recently divorced, someone with many problems, or someone not ready to remarry

 

Would you want to marry someone who was in your present condition? Then why offer that to someone else. Wouldn’t you want someone who was happy and whole and had it together? Isn’t that what you want to offer someone? Then you have to Grow through your divorce before you can be ready to Remarry.

 

Action:  Take The TEST NOW:

 

Make a number of copies of the Ready4Remarriage test. Even though you may be far from being ready to remarry, or you may even think you are ready. Wherever you feel you are on the readiness spectrum, take the test now. See how you perform. Work on areas where you score poorly. Take the test again in six months to gauge your progress. Avoid getting serious with someone until you score well on all aspects of the test.