Hi guys, I hope you have had a good week since we last touched base and even if you haven't, please don’t despair, it is a new day and a new dawn full of new opportunities, brrrrreathe and let that sink in for a moment.
Talking about being a new day and a new dawn, they say it takes 21 days to create a new habit, so today’s post is all about Reinventing You by taking inventory and creating new habits. It seems a bit ironic to me that it takes 21 days to form a new habit but we can form a bad habit in the matter of minutes. After leaving a marriage and going through a divorce, it is a really good time to look back and evaluate the habits you have picked up over the course of the relationship.
After my divorce, I decided to take an inventory. You may be asking “Zina, what do you mean by take an inventory?” By taking an inventory, I mean that I took a look at inside of myself and took a long hard look at what I had left. I took note of the habits I had picked up (both good and bad), I took a look at where I was in my life and where I wanted to be. Taking inventory differs from person to person but it comes down to checking in with yourself.
After I took inventory of myself, I then made a list of the bad habits I wanted to break. Some of them were things that I picked up over the course of my marriage and others were bad habits I had before. Either way, I was in a place of transition in my life and I was taking care of all of the things I did not like when I did my inventory.
Habits will form faster if you stick to the same time and environment each day. Take for instance for me, instead of going for my walk whenever, I keep my trainers next to the door and schedule my walk every day at 6 am in the morning . You might want to try this too or something similar where you are intentional about creating a new habit and you will find just like I did that this will not only make it easier for you to keep your goal of creating a new habit but it will also serve as a reminder.
A constant reminder of why you’re trying to change your behaviour is also helpful. Remind yourself every day that you’re exercising so your body stays strong and you can go and play with the kids or grandkids if you have them in the garden or in the park. Or put up a picture to remind you that you’re creating frugal habits so you can one day purchase your dream home, yacht or just create a magnificent legacy for your children or favourite charity. Keep your reason why you’re changing front and centre and then be prepared to stick it out. Yes it will take some time to create new habits and replace old ones, so please please please don’t quit, trust me, it will be well worth it in the end.
Creating new habits isn’t easy but I believe in you. Here are six simple hacks that have worked for me and I know will make it a little easier. Use them until you’ve internalised the new habit and don’t need them anymore.
- Schedule It And Put It On The To-Do List
Sometimes we forget to do that new thing we were trying. Maybe we forget that we’re supposed to be having eggs for breakfast instead of a stack of waffles drenched in Gales honey or Robertson’s blackcurrant jam, or that we need to get that daily walk in.
Schedule your new habits or make them part of your daily to-do list until they become something you do automatically.
- Make It Public and Be Accountable
Let family and friends know what new habits you’re trying to establish so that they can call you out if you don’t stick to your plan and get you back on track.
You may even go as far as sharing it publicly on Facebook or write a blog about your new journey. Knowing that others read it and know about it and may even be doing it too might be just enough to keep you going when you feel like throwing in the towel.
- Piggyback On A Habit You Already Have
Whenever possible, add the new habit to one you already have. For example, if you make fix a cup of tea or coffee at 4pm, and you want to get into the habit of taking a daily walk, make the new routine ritual to go for your walk and then come back and enjoy your tea.
It’s much easier to amend an existing habit or routine ritual than creating an entirely new one.
- Make Slipups Costly
Here’s a fun idea that has been super amazing in my household with my daughters and I. Put a jar on the kitchen counter and each time you slip back into your bad habit or forget to stick to the new one you have to put five pounds in the jar. It will quickly help you remember to skip that sugary food and motivate you to go out for that walk. For extra motivation donate the money to charity at the end of the month or hand it over to your children for them to go and spend on themselves, I can’t begin to tell you how many sets of eyelashes and lipsticks this has funded in my home and not for me 🙂
- Find An Accountability Partner and Help Each Other Along
Find someone with the same or similar goal. This could be a workout partner or a diet buddy. Keep tabs on each other and encourage each other to keep going. It’s much harder to skip a walk if you know someone else is depending on you being there.
- Make It A Group Challenge
If one accountability partner is good, a whole group is even better. And they don’t even need to be local. Find a supportive group online and challenge each other to stick to your new habit for the next 30 days or so. Not wanting to be the first one to give up will keep all of you going until you establish that new habit.
Give these simple little hacks a try. Keep using the ones that you find helpful until you have made new habits you can stick with without the help of any tools or support.
You have just spent the last few minutes or hours depending on your reading pace, interruptions and perhaps legitimate distractions, reading today’s blog. I hope you have found it useful and valuable, remember it takes at least 21 days of consistency, resilience and persistence to create new habits, so don’t quit, don’t give up if you have occasional slip ups, cut yourself some slack, dust your life down and get back up on that wagon, with your head held up high and your shoulders squared in defiant glory.
Whatever you do, take the process in your stride, it is all part of your Believe and Live Again recovery, bounce back and transition journey from being a “we” to becoming a “me”.
If you would like to have an informal chat about it, don't hesitate to get in touch on: +44 208 938 3672 and myself or a member of my team will gladly schedule a Complimentary Believe and Live Again Discovery session or a 30 minute "Forgive and Let Go" consultation and together, we could be embarking upon the Believe and Live Again 5 R's journey to heal your heart, outgrow your challenges and let go of the past so that your glorious future can finally emerge.
Once again, I invite you to contact me or schedule a time to talk, call: +44 (0) 208 938 3672 (24 hours) or click on the pink "Contact" at the bottom right-hand side of this page and this will take you into my "Let's Talk" contact form. Kindly complete the form and you will get a callback.
In the meantime, Keep Smiling, Keep Strong and Keep Believing (that you can).
Best Wishes and God's Blessings
Inspirational Woman of the Year Award 2017
Best Selling Author – Reinvent YOU! How to Move from “We to Me” After Divorce
Multi Award Winning Serial Entrepreneur
Divorce Reinvention, Abuse and Breakup Recovery Coach
World’s Number 1 Mum
Zina Arinze, the proud mother of two wonderful gifts - her daughters, is a bubbly woman of faith fondly known as the Divorce Reinvention Queen, International Speaker, Best Selling Author, Radio Broadcaster, Talk Show host, Multi-award winning Business Start-up expert, Serial Entrepreneur and founder of Believe and Live Again: a Post-Divorce Lifestyle Coaching, Abuse Recovery and Reinvention Mentoring service helping female professionals, businesswomen, entrepreneurs and women of faith around the globe, swiftly recover from the grief, trauma and stigma of divorce, separation, domestic abuse or relationship breakdown by giving them clarity for their radiant future so that they are able to smoothly transition their mindsets from “we” to “me”, reconnect to their positive of self, regain their feminine power and walk in the healing restorative power of God. A lawyer by training and armed with an MBA and membership of several professional and entrepreneurial boards, Zina has over 15 years in IT Project Management Consultancy, Training and Capacity Building experience from the Public, Private and Not for Profit sectors. Zina is also very passionate about Gender Empowerment, building lasting relationships and encouraging the discovery, development, and deployment of hidden talents.