The Secret to Building up Your Dating Confidence After Divorce Or Relationship Breakup

Maybe you’re confident in most situations, but dating makes you nervous. Some jitters are natural when you’re wondering if someone will like you, and hoping to develop a meaningful relationship. On the other hand, you may need to become more assured if you want a happy love life.

Confidence is actually more important than good looks when it comes to attracting potential romantic partners, according to some studies. Singles that smile and make eye contact are approached more often.

Now that you don’t have to worry about looking like a supermodel, you can focus on building up your dating confidence. Try these ideas for managing doubts and appearing sure of yourself.

How to Manage Your Doubts about Dating

  1. Let go of expectations. Do you spend the first date dreaming about finding your soul mate or dismissing anyone who doesn’t completely match your detailed checklist? Real relationships require patience and flexibility.
  2. Accept your fears. Trying to resist or deny your doubts wastes energy and makes your anxiety stronger. Instead, lovingly acknowledge your feelings and remember that you can still choose how you want to act.
  3. Focus on others. Keep in mind that your date is probably nervous too. If you work at putting them at ease, you’ll probably loosen up too.
  4. Think positive. Look at what you have to gain. Even if you’re not romantically compatible, you might share a laugh and some interesting stories.
  5. Stay busy. Do you analyze your date afterwards, looking for an excuse to reject others or discover your own missteps? Shift your attention to something more constructive like reading a book or baking bread.
  6. Love yourself. Celebrate your strengths and know that you are worthy just as you are. When you feel special, you’ll have more to contribute to any relationship.

How to Appear Confident While Dating

  1. Smile. However you feel inside, a smile will make you more approachable and lower your stress. Plus, smiling makes you look more attractive.
  2. Dress up. Wear something you know is flattering. It will help you take your mind off your appearance.
  3. Adjust your posture. Your body language talks before you can even open your mouth. Check that your back is straight and your shoulders are down. You’ll look slimmer and more energetic.
  4. Make eye contact. Let your date see you’re interested in them by meeting their gaze. Your eyes can express your warmth and sincerity.
  5. Shake hands. Touch is powerful. Reach out and shake hands. If you’re hitting it off, a light touch on the arm can be very encouraging.
  6. Prepare your remarks. Be ready to keep the conversation flowing. Rehearse a few intriguing questions you want to ask. Research a topic or two like a recent news story or some background information on a memorable film you just saw.
  7. Choose the activity. While taking your date’s interests into consideration, see if you can suggest a venue where you’ll feel at home. If you’re lucky, they’ll want to browse around a farmer’s market or rent a kayak too.
  8. Keep practicing. The more you date, the more confident you’ll be in your ability to meet other singles, make a positive impression, and explore opportunities to develop a loving and caring relationship. You’ll also be clarifying your short list for what you really need in a romantic partner.

Be friendly, take risks, and learn from each dating experience. When you relax and radiate confidence, you and your date can both have fun while you look for the love that you deserve.


Whatever you do, take the process in your stride, it is all part of your Believe and Live Again recovery, bounce back and transition journey from being a “we” to becoming a “me”.

If you would like to have an informal chat about it, don't hesitate to get in touch on: +44 208 938 3672 and myself or a member of my team will gladly schedule a Complimentary Believe and Live Again Discovery session or a 30 minute "Forgive and Let Go" consultation and together, we could be embarking upon the Believe and Live Again 5 R's journey to heal your heart, outgrow your challenges and let go of the past so that your glorious future can finally emerge.

Once again, I invite you to contact me or schedule a time to talk, call: +44 (0) 208 938 3672 (24 hours) or click on the pink "Contact" at the bottom right-hand side of this page and this will take you into my "Let's Talk" contact form. Kindly complete the form and you will get a callback.

In the meantime, Keep Smiling, Keep Strong and Keep Believing (that you can). 

Best Wishes and God's Blessings smiley

Zina heart xxx

Inspirational Woman of the Year Award 2017
Best Selling Author – Reinvent YOU! How to Move from “We to Me” After Divorce
Multi Award Winning Serial Entrepreneur
Divorce Reinvention, Abuse and Breakup Recovery Coach
International Speaker
World’s Number 1 Mum

0O4A8361Zina Arinze, the proud mother of two wonderful gifts - her daughters, is a bubbly woman of faith fondly known as the Divorce Reinvention Queen, International Speaker, Best Selling Author, Radio Broadcaster, Talk Show host, Multi-award winning Business Start-up expert, serial Entrepreneur and founder of Believe and Live Again: a Post-Divorce Lifestyle Coaching, Abuse Recovery and Reinvention Mentoring service helping female professionals, business women, entrepreneurs and women of faith around the globe, swiftly recover from the grief, trauma and stigma of divorce, separation, domestic abuse or relationship breakdown by giving them clarity for their radiant future so that they are able to smoothly transition their mindsets from “we” to “me”, reconnect to their positive of self, regain their feminine power and walk in the healing restorative power of God. A lawyer by training and armed with an MBA and membership of several professional and entrepreneurial boards, Zina has over 15 years in IT Project Management Consultancy, Training and Capacity Building experience from the Public, Private and Not for Profit sectors. Zina is also very passionate about Gender Empowerment, building lasting relationships and encouraging the discovery, development, and deployment of hidden talents.

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