I hope you are having a great Saturday wherever you are in the world..
Just thought I'd put this out there....
If you are reading this and you are now single, expect that some friends and/or family members may disappoint you...and I am talking from personal experience as well as the aggregated experience of hundreds of women around the world I have had the honour of coaching through their divorce recovery or relationship healing journey.
If you are newly divorced, separated or have recently come out of a traumatic relationship breakdown, you may find that now that you are re-singled some of your married friends may take sides or create distance from you. They may be angry with you or even ashamed, they may even feel threatened by your being “available”, etc. Furthermore, some relatives may even criticize you for a variety of selfish reasons – example - your divorce has limited their exposure to grandchildren.
These are toxic relationships and you don’t need them in your life.
Here is a quick exercise to help you navigate this new journey smoothly:
- Start with Identifying any toxic friends or relatives who have the potential or do pull you down or criticize you about your circumstances.
- Distance yourself from them for at least the present time while you are in recovery/ healing mode.
- Identify the friends and relatives (who might mean well) but are critical and drag you down?
- Stop asking friends to help you against your ex
You need your true friends for support, not for fighting your battles.
Never ask your friends to choose sides or to help you get back or implement revenge tactics against your ex. Instead, think about what you would like your friends to do to be supportive during this difficult time – such as call you often, be available to talk when you are down, help you think through some tough decisions. Let them know your needs. What are the needs they can help you with?
Remember "You can't soar into your future being stuck in the past" - Zina Arinze
In the meantime peeps, keep strong, keep smiling and Keep Believing
Enjoy the rest of your day